🧻 Potty News – "Back on the Bowl: World Woes & Flush Facts!"

🚽 The Flush:

Surprise, sitters! We’re back — fresher than a mint-scented toilet roll and twice as absorbent.

Welcome to the Tuesday edition of Potty News, where history meets hilarity right at your fingertips.

🗓️ On this day, September 2nd, 1969, the first automated teller machine (ATM) in the United States made its debut. While it revolutionized banking, it also marked the first time someone said, “I trust a machine more than a human with my cash.”

So whether you're cashing out or flushing in, we’re here to make sure your scroll while you sit is well worth the wipe. Let’s plunge in.

💧 The Flow:

🇵🇰 Pakistan’s Mega Flood Forces Nearly a Million to Evacuate
AP News reports that extreme monsoon floods have devastated Pakistan, displacing almost 1 million people. Rescue teams are working non-stop, but the situation remains critical as riverbanks burst and villages vanish.

🇨🇳 Putin & Xi’s Pipeline Pact: Gas Flows, Tensions Grow
From the Financial Times: China and Russia inked a 30-year deal to pump 50 billion cubic meters of natural gas annually through Mongolia. Translation: friends with energy benefits — and the West’s watching closely.

🧻 Toilet Paper Panic 2.0? AI Doomsday Fears Spark Hoarding
TikTok is flush with videos claiming AI could “wipe us all out.” The result? Another run on TP. Whether you believe the bots are coming or not — people are prepping to go down clean.

📚 Word of the Day:

Lagom" (Swedish, adj.)

Definition: Not too much. Not too little. Just right.

Usage: A Potty News issue should be lagom — enough to inform, enough to laugh, and short enough that your legs don’t fall asleep.

🌧️ The Drip:

🏆 World Cup 2026 Final Will Be in... New Jersey?!
The final match of the World Cup will kick off at MetLife Stadium in NJ — beating out Texas and Cali. Soccer fans are torn, but Jersey is already ordering the confetti and parking cones.

🍫 Nestlé CEO Canned Over Misconduct Claims
In a surprise shake-up, Nestlé ousted its CEO following internal investigations. FT reports the board acted quickly, but no word yet on whether they used a Keebler elf to deliver the pink slip.

🏙️ Global Housing Affordability? Gone With the Wind
The World Economic Forum says that no major housing market is affordable anymore. Hong Kong, Sydney, and LA top the “you’ll never own this” list. Renting your parents’ basement? Still the dream.

💦 The Squirt:

🌶️ Spicy Science Says: Chili Lovers Live Longer
A Harvard-backed study shows that regular chili eaters enjoy lower death rates. The secret? Anti-inflammatories, boosted metabolism, and possibly… fear of the bathroom.

🧠 Brain Flush:

Did you know? Sloths only poop once a week… and when they do, it can be up to ⅓ of their body weight. That’s the kind of commitment we admire. Respect the dump.

For more fascinating facts, keep your mind open and your toilet paper rolling with "Potty News."

🧻 The Wipe:

We’re back, you’re seated, and the world’s still spinning — sometimes too fast to catch.
Potty News is your humorous handle on the headlines. So if this issue gave you something to ponder or snort while wiping, forward it to a fellow flusher.

See you in the next edition, and as always, stay informed and amused!

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